Category: Joke

Sawadee Khrap

Sorry I overwrote the first Paul’s joke – here is is again

 
Little RALPHY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.   ‘Why?’ asks the father?
‘The teacher asked ‘How much is 2×3,” I said ‘6’, replies RALPHY.   ‘But that’s right!’ says his dad.
‘Yeah, but then she asked me ‘How much is 3×2?”
‘What’s the fuckin’ difference?’ asks the father.
‘That’s what I said!’

Ciao

Sawadee Khrap

My God, Here’s another good one from Paul’s “The Sunday Funnies”  Nov 7,2010

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks,
in the sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth, "Excuth me,
mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"
As the shopkeeper’s heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that
he’s  on her level and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit,
or a thoft and fuwwy, bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle
bwown wabbit over there?"   
She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her
hands on her knees, leans forward and says, in a tiny quiet voice,
"I don’t think my python weally gives a thit."

Ciao

Sawadee Khrap

Jerry just sent me this and I was laughing so hard I could hardly post this":   Funny, Funny, Funny

Click on this link or picture above to see the actual sayings.

Ciao

Sawadee Khrap

Another from Paul:

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph ‘s Hospital..

She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who
can tell me how a patient is doing?" The operator said,
"I’ll be glad to help, dear. What’s the name
and room number of the patient?"

  
The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said,
"Norma Findlay, Room 302." The operator replied,
"Let me put you on hold while I check with the
nurse’s station for that room."

After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said,  "I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well.. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just
came back normal and her physician, Dr.. Cohen, has
scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow."

 
The grandmother said, "Oh Thank you. That’s
wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good
news." The operator replied, "You’re more than
welcome. Is Norma your daughter?"

 
The grandmother said, "No,   I’m Norma Findlay in Room
302.     No one tells me shit."

Ciao

Sawadee Khrap

Thanks Paul for another great one:

A cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street,
when a little girl On her new shiny bike stopped beside him.
‘Nice bike,’ the cop said. ‘Did Santa bring it to you?’
‘Yes Sir,’ the little girl said, ‘he sure did!’
The cop looked the bike over and handed
the girl a $5 ticket for a safety violation.
The cop said, ‘Give this to your Dad, and next year, tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it!’
The young girl looked up at the cop and said,

‘Nice horse you’ve got there Sir. Did Santa bring it to you?’
Playing along with the girl, he chuckled and answered,
‘Yes, he sure did!’
The little girl looked up at the cop and said:

‘Next year tell Santa;
The dick goes underneath the horse, not on top’!!!

Ciao

Doctor Dave had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all daylong. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn’t. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming.  But every once in a while he’d hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said: Dave, don’t worry about it. You aren’t the first medical practitioner to have sex with one of their patients and you won’t be the last.  And you’re single. Just let it go, Dave."

But  invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to  reality, whispering:
Dave………….,Dave…………,Dave…………,Dave………….,Dave…………,Dave…………
You’re a veterinarian, you sick bastard".

Ciao

Sawadee Khrap

Here’s a good one from Paul’s weekly jokes.

Two farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know, I’m tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I’ll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes."
Bob thinks it’s a good idea, and the two leave. The next day, Jim goes down to the college and meets the Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, history, and Logic.
"Logic?" Jim says. "What’s that?" The dean says, "I’ll show you.  Do you own a weed-eater?"
"Yeah." "Then logically speaking, because you own a weed-eater, I think that you would have a yard."
"That’s true, I do have a yard."
"I’m not done," the dean says "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house."
"Yes, I do have a house"
"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family."
"I have a family."
"I’m not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife."
"Yes, I do have a wife."
"And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual."
"I am a heterosexual. That’s amazing; you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed-eater."

Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the Dean’s hand and leaves to go meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic.
"Logic?" Bob says, "What’s that?"
Jim says, "I’ll show you. Do you have a weed-eater?"
"No."
"Then you’re a queer!"

Ciao

Here’s a good one from “Paul’s Funnies”.

A Texas rancher got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring ranch and knocked at the door.  A young boy, about 9, opened the door. "Is yer Dad home?" the rancher asked.
"No sir, he ain’t," the boy replied. "He went into town." "Well", said the rancher, "is yer Mom here?" "No, sir, she ain’t here neither. She went into town with Dad." "How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?" "He went with Mom and Dad." The rancher stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other and mumbling to himself. "Is there anything I can do fer ya?" the boy asked politely. "I knows where all the tools are, if you want to borry one. Or maybe I could take a message fer Dad." "Well," said the rancher uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to yer Dad.  It’s about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Pearly Mae, pregnant."

The boy considered for a moment. "You would have to talk to Pa about that", he finally conceded. "If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $50 for the bull and $25 for the hog, but, I really don’t know how much he gets fer Howard."

Just adding filler today – will have some boy pics soon – working on a few very cute young men photos.

Ciao

Sawadee Khrap

Well I have heard it all –

“Dr. Palaniappan told Bernama, the Malaysian national news agency, that masturbation and homosexual activity made “the body become an easy target for pandemic A(H1N1) infection,” however, the normal sexual union between members of the opposite sex was absolutely safe”

This quote is from a article in Thai Visa.  Thai A(H1N1) Resistant To Tamiflu – Malaysians Told To Stop Wanking .  We’ll have to watch carefully for future announcements –  What could be next – watching porn – could that lower your resistance too? – who knows.   We’ve been warned !!!!!! 

Ciao