Last week, John checked into a motel on his 70th birthday and as he was feeling a bit lonely he thought, “I’ll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages.”
He looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Tony – a very handsome man with assorted physical skills flexing in the photo. He had all the right muscles in all the right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six-pack abs, and John felt quite certain he could bounce a coin off his well oiled bum…. So he figured, what the hell, nobody will ever know. I’ll give him a call.
“Good evening, Sir, how may I help you?” Oh my, he sounded so sexy!
Afraid he would lose his nerve if he hesitated, John rushed right in, “Hi, I hear you give a great massage. I’d like you to come to my motel room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I’m in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, and whips, everything you’ve got in your bag of tricks. We’ll go hot and heavy all night – tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything, I’m ready! Now how does that sound?”
After a long pause, he heard, “… sounds fantastic Mister, but you need to press 9 for an outside line.”
Thanks to Paulâ€™s â€œSundayâ€™s Funniesâ€ – of course I took the liberty to do a little modification.