Last night I had a battle with my demons. Before falling asleep, I had an anxiety or panic attack. Feelings of guilt, fear, pending doom, keeping me awake for quite a while . I couldn’t determine what they were actually about or for that matter WHY I was experiencing them, but they seemed very frightening. Some could call it the “dark night of the soul”. I am sure this will happen every time we venture into examining and exposing the ego’s lies, on our path to recognizing the TRUTH. What are our memories but attachments or judgments as to what we considered good or evil, then classified to remembered or forgotten – not let go as imagined, but regarded as true with some possibly deserving pardoning but never dismissed or forgiven.
Repeating , over and over, the statement “I am still as God created me” helped and I did finally fall asleep. In the morning, I realized what had happened, the battle isn’t of this world but of the ‘mind’ dealing ultimately with the separation from God or my Self. My ego was trying to convince me that this world, which I see through the body’s eyes, was real and as reality should be,
Today, as the day went on, I seem to have less tremors and side-effects from the old BP medicine – must have been a withdraw affect from the drugs that triggered the attack, at least that sounds like a plausible reason. As I think back, the same process happened before at different stages of stopping the meds…The Parkinson’s like effects are getting less and less, but it’s frustrating that it’s taking so long, 6 months so far.,
God Blesses Christ Blesses I Bless