And here’s my favorite

Sawadee Khrap

Three blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol.

The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So y’all want to be cops, huh?"   The blondes all nodded.   The detective got up, opened a file drawer, and pulled out a folder.   Sitting back down, he opened it, pulled out a picture, and said,  "To be a detective, you have to be able to detect.  You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities like scars and so forth." 

So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds.  "Now,"  he said,   "did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?" The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!"  The detective shook his head and said, "Of course he has only one eye in this picture!  It’s a profile of his face!   You’re dismissed!"

The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back, and said, "What about you? Notice anything unusual or Outstanding about this man?"  "Yes! He only has one ear!"  The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed,  "Didn’t you hear what I just told the other lady?  This is a profile of the man’s face! Of course you can only see one ear!    You’re excused too!"

The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said,  "This is probably a waste of time, but…."   He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying,  "All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or Unusual about this man?"  The blonde said,  "I sure did. This man wears contact lenses.

"The detective frowned, took another look at the picture, and began looking at some of the papers in the folder.  He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, "You’re absolutely right!   His bio says he wears contacts!  How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?"  The blonde rolled her eyes and said,

"Well,  Hellooooooooooooo! With only  One eye and one ear, he certainly can’t wear glasses."


And one for us old folks

Sawadee Khrap

It’s Hell to be Old
OLD people have problems that you haven’t even considered yet.

An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, ‘Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.’

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, ‘Well, doc, it’s like this — first I tried with my right hand, but nothing.  Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.  ‘Then I asked my wife for help.  She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing.  She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.  ‘We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees, but still nothing’

The doctor was shocked! ‘You asked your neighbor?’  
The old man replied, ‘Yep, none of us could get the jar open.’

Thanks Paul – be sure and sign up for the Funnies delivered to your door    “subscribe” as the subject


A little humor from paul’s Sunday funnies

Sawadee Khrap

This Southern boy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand. he picks up the lamp and gives it a rub.

Two blonde genies appear, and they tell him he has been granted three wishes. the guy makes his three wishes and the blonde genies disappear.  the next thing the guy knows, he’s in a bedroom, in a golf-course mansion , surrounded by 50 beautiful women.

After he makes love to all of them, he begins to explore this fabulous house.  suddenly he feels something soft under his feet, he looks down and the floor is covered in $100 bills.  then, there’s a knock at the door.
He answers it and standing there are two persons dressed in Ku Klux Klan outfits. they drag him outside to the nearest tree, throw a rope over a limb and hang him by the neck until he’s dead.
As the klansmen are walking away, they remove their hoods. it’s the two blonde genies. one blonde genie says to the other one, ‘I can understand the first wish having all these beautiful women in a big mansion to make love to. I can also understand him wanting to be a millionaire.  but why he wanted to be hung like a black guy is beyond me.’