A friend of mine in the Philippines just sent me his boyfriends latest tale of hardship – have a boyfriend here in Thailand – just change the peso to Baht and wait – calamity happens everywhere.
Dear Thomas ,
I love and miss you so much. Now I have big pomprem. I tell you before that my buffalo me sick. Now it die. Fall down dead in middle of rice field. but, when it fall, it land on Papa and break him leg in three places. Now he not work. Brother me make stretcher from bamboo he take from loof of house. Now roof collapse and rain get in house. Brother she take Papa to hospital on motocycle. She have accident coming home. Run into police car. Brother me to blame. Police say we have to pay big money. Motocycle OK. Police car no good. Now give Mama have heart pomprem. Doctor say she need triple bypass. I not understand what is, he say you know. If you not help me I have to go bom bom with many, foreigners to pay bill.
The old people in my village in Roxas say it all your fault. If you give me money to buy medicine for sick buffalo when I ask you, then it not die, Papa not break leg, house still have loof, brother not ride into police car and Mama not have heart pomprem. Please send for me 400,000 peso for my bank. Papa fix: 20,000, new loof:60,000, New police car 200,000: Mama fix:100,000. I take off 4,000 peso for sell buffalo meat, but have to pay more hospital bill for 24 people have bad stomach eat no good meat – 24,000 peso. I not know money US but my friend me say it about 40 peso. This mean you send me 10,000 US money. Big money for me, little money for you.
I love you too much long time.