Still not there

Sawadee Khrap

Just finished my massage and getting ready to go to lunch with Mike.  Still not ready to say I am over the relationship thing – nagging feelings and still difficult to talk or get to know anyone else without comparing.  I suppose this too will pass but like I admitted in another post this is really the first time I actually fell in love – seems kind of stupid at my age but I should have been through this as a teenager – but didn’t come out till a late age and missed all the drama, so I guess I am just living mine now.  Ha Ha.   But it does make it easier to cope by discussing it here – I sure as hell don’t want any of this on Facebook.   I am amazed how much personal crap is posted on FB.

Oh well, just musing, off to lunch and a new day – Charlie from the US is supposed to arrive today and we should make contact tomorrow – that will be nice to see him again.


One thought on “Still not there”

  1. Frank, If I may. can I make a comment?

    As I understand it, you are grieving for a lost love who was perhaps 50+ years younger.

    During your relationship I read a blog from you in which you recommended a gay massage parlour in Chiang Khlan and pretty much indicated that you had a sexual experience there. On your recommendation I went there and encountered the same a masseur. It was a sexual interlude. I am 70 and in an unbelievable relationship with the world’s most beautiful ladyboy. I’m the luckiest septuagenarian alive, but I, like you, have the desire to explore. Why should you think that a young guy should not feel the same? Even more so? Think back.

    I love my “girl” and after a year+ I believe she loves me, but I recognise her young desires. For
    that reason I have told her that she may “play”. Hell, she’s 21!

    Incredibly, she has never, to my knowledge (and I’m no idiot), strayed, but we have had a 3-sum which was not entirely successful. Maybe I am just the luckiest old bastard in the world, but I believe that you have to give the youth their freedom. Maybe just offering it is enough – I don’t know. But what I want to tell you is that at t\our age we have to be understanding and maybe you were not so with your last love.

    I know you are hurt and I sympathise, but move on to greater things,



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