Onions & Christmas Trees

Sawadee Khrap

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, ‘Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?

The father, surprised, answers,

‘Well, son, there are three kinds of Boobs: 
In her 20’s, a woman’s are like melons, round and firm. 
In her 30’s to 40’s, they’re like pears, still nice but hang a bit.  
After 50, they are like onions’. 
Onions?’           ‘Yes, you see them and they make you cry.’

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, 
‘Mum, how many kinds of ‘willies’ are there?.

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers,

‘Well dear, a man goes through three phases. 
In his 20’s, his willy is like an oak  tree, mighty and hard.  
In his 30’s and 40’s, it is like a birch,  flexible but reliable. 
After his 50’s, it is like a Christmas Tree.’ 

‘A Christmas tree?’      ‘Yes – the root’s dead and the balls are just for decoration.’

Thanks Jim