Sawadee Khrap. 

Good advice for the States as they cut Medical Coverage – Thanks Jim for the “Tip”

Ciao

Sawadee Khrap

After experiencing the discomfort and embarrassment of a prostate test on the National Health Service, a friend of mine decided to have his next test carried out while visiting in Thailand where the beautiful nurses are rather more gentle and accommodating.

As usual he was asked to strip off, he lay naked on his side on the bed and the nurse began the examination.

"At this stage of the procedure it's quite normal to get an erection" said the nurse.

"I haven't got an erection" said the man.

"No, but I have" replied the nurse.

Thanks Jerry

Ciao

Sawadee Khrap

Recently while going through the airport on one of his many trips, President Bush encountered a man with long, gray hair wearing a white robe and sandals...and holding a staff.

President Bush went up to the man and asked, "Has anyone told you that you look like Moses?"  The man never answered. He just kept staring straight ahead.

The President said "Moses!" in a loud voice. The man just stared ahead...never acknowledging the President. Bush pulled a Secret Service agent aside and, pointing to the robed man, asked, "Am I crazy, or does that man look like Moses to you?"

The Secret Service agent looked at the man carefully and then agreed. "Well", said the President, "Every time I say his name, he ignores me and stares straight ahead, refusing to speak. Watch." Again the President yelled "Moses!" and again the man ignored him.

The Secret Service agent went up to the man in the white robe and whispered, "You look just like Moses. Are you Moses?"

The man leaned over and whispered back, "Yes, I am Moses. However, the last time I talked to a bush, I spent 40 years wandering in the desert...and ended up leading my people to the only spot in the entire Middle East where there is no oil."

Ciao

Sawadee Khrap

A chicken farmer went to a local bar... sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perks up and says, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!"

"What a coincidence," the farmer says, "This is a special day for me, and I’m celebrating." "This is a special day for me too, I'm also celebrating!" says the woman. "What a coincidence" says the man. As they clinked glasses the farmer asked, "What are you celebrating?"

"My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynecologist told me that I'm pregnant!" "What a coincidence," says the man ... "I'm a chicken farmer and for years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally laying fertilized eggs."

"That's great!" says the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?" "I used a different cock," he replied.

The woman smiled and said, "What a coincidence"

Ciao

Sawadee Khrap

Here’s a great one Jim sent me (but I did modify it a little) – thanks Jim

Two elderly guys are sitting on the front porch in a Scottsdale retirement home , doing nothing, naturally.

One guy turns and asks, 'Do you still get horny?'

The other replies, 'Oh sure I do.'

Then the  first old man asks, 'What do you do about it?'

And his friend replies, 'I suck a lifesaver.'

After a few moments, the first guy asks, 'Who drives you to the beach ?'

Ciao

Sawadee Khrap

Don’t know – tried to look up his bio on the web with no success, but he is attributed with several good quotes.  Here is my favorite:

“Homosexuality is God’s way of ensuring that the truly gifted aren’t burdened with children.”

Ciao

Sawadee Khrap

Jerry just sent me this one and I had to post it – sorry it is long:

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."   Very good, said the teacher.

Jenny was next: "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events."   Very good, Jenny, said the teacher.

Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath... Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467"  he said.  "$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"

"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.  "Toothbrushes!" echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough toothbrushes to make that much money?"

"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample."  They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like dog shit!" Then I would say, "It is

Sawadee Khrap

I have heard that due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).   Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).   Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).   A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.   Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).   Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Congress.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.   Should you feel that you do not receive

Sawadee Khrap

Kevin found this ad – only in France.

Click on the images to run the movies.

or this one from Israel – The US is very tame compared to the rest of the world.   Ha-ha  

Check it out – the website AdForum ) to view many more ‘unusual’ or ‘funny’  ads.

Ciao

Sawadee Khrap

I am glad I’m out of the ‘Rat Race’.   But this is so true.

Ciao

Sawadee Khrap

I Just got scammed out of $25.

Bought Tiger Woods' DVD entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes."

Turns out it's about golf.  Absolute waste of money.

Pass this on, so others don't get burned!

Ciao

Sawadee Khrap        Did you hear about this one ?

PFIZER Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in a liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer.

It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a ‘stiff one’.

Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of  ‘cocktails’, ‘highballs’ and just a good old-fashioned ‘stiff drink’ will now make sense.

This should be close to how Pepsi is going to market it.  Keep an eye on your local suppliers and be the first one up to try it out.

Ciao.

Sawadee Khrap

I just had to post this latest one from Kevin:

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'

  With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it' s not only the passion, ...Dad, she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a caravan in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading

Sawadee Khrap

Jerry just sent me this link to a great commercial:

Ciao

Sawadee Khrap

Thanks Kevin for this post:

Ciao