Category: Frank’ Blog

Sawadee Khrap – another from Jerry

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Two cowboys applied for the job.

One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.

Then one day, the rancher’s widow said to the hired hand, ‘You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great You should go into town and kick up your heels.’ The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

One o’clock came, however, and he didn’t return. Two o’clock and no hired hand. Finally he returned  around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher’s  widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him

She quietly called him over to her. ‘Unbutton my blouse and take it off,’ she said.
Trembling, he did as she  directed.

‘Now take off my  boots.’ He did as she asked, ever so slowly.

‘ Now  take off my stockings.’ He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

‘Now take off my  skirt.’ He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire  light.

‘Now take off my  bra.’ Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the  floor.

Then she looked at him and said, ‘If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you’re fired.’

 

I didn’t see it coming, either!

Ciao

Sawadee Khrap

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a farang, who’s not a creep,
One who’s handsome, smart and strong.
One who has one that’s big and long,
One who pays before he speaks,
One who’ll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he’s gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won’t be annoyed.
Pulls out his wallet  cause he knows I’m a whore.
Fucks my ass and likes to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who’ll make love to my mind,
Knows what to do to my behind?’
I pray that this man’s money has no end,
And always be my very best friend.

Ciao

Sawadee Khrap –  thanks Jerry:

Things Got Ya Down?    Well Then, Consider These.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In a hospital’s Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am ,  regardless of their medical condition.  This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the super natural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 am Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to  investigate the cause of the incidents. The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 am  all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon  was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer  books, and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits.  Just when the clock struck 11:00 , Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper , entered the ward and unplugged the life  support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.

Still Having a Bad Day ????

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez Oil spill in Alaska  was $80,000.00.  At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild  amid cheers and applause from onlookers.  A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.

Still think you are having a Bad  Day ????

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen  shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy,  with some kind of wire running from his waist towards  the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from  the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy  plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places.  Up to that moment, he had been happily listening  to his Walkman.

Are Ya OK Now ? – No ?

Two animal rights  defenders were protesting  the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse  in Bonn , Germany . Suddenly, all two thousand pigs  broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly.  The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.

What ?!?  STILL having a Bad  Day ????

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn’t pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with ‘Return to Sender’ stamped on it.  Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits. God is Good!

There now, Feeling Better ? 

Ciao

Sawadee Khrap –    Thanks Max for this update.

European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as “Euro-English”.

In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of “k”. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

Ciao

Sawadee Khrap

WYOMING STATE TROOPERS

Gotta love then boys!!!!!

In most of the Northern States, there is a policy of checking on any stalled vehicle on the highway when the temperatures drop in the single digits or below.  One morning in March 2004 about 3 A.M. a Wyoming State Trooper responded to a call of a car off the sholder on the outside of the town of Casper

The Trooper located the car, with the engine still running, stuck in the deep snow along the side of the highway.  Pulling in behind it with his emergency lights on, the Officer walked to the driver’s door to find a man passed out behind the wheel and a near empty bottle of vodka in the seat beside him.

The Trooper tapped on the window and the driver woke up, seeing the rotating lights in his rear view mirror and the State Policeman standing next to his car, the man panicked.  He jerked the gearshift into drive and hit the gas. The car’s speedometer was showing 20–30–40 then 50 MPH but it was still stuck in the snow.

The Trooper, having a sense of humor, began running in place next to the speeding, but still stationary car.  The driver was totally freaked, thinking the Officer was actually keeping up with him.  This goes on for about 30 seconds when the Trooper yelled at the man ordering him to “PULL OVER!”.  The driver obeyed, turned the wheel, and stopped the engine.

Once out of the car the drunken driver asked about the Trooper’s special training and just how he could possibly run 50 MPH.  The man was arrested, still believing that a Trooper had outrun his car.

 

Ciao

Sawadee Khrap

I was just going through some old photos and here’s a great shot I made while visiting the “The Red Rose” motel in Chiang Rai last year.  I thought this was really funny but very appropriate for a ‘short time hotel’ as the Red was then. 

Now place has been completely redone and in my mind, nothing of its former glory. No longer touted as a short timer, It’s now a “family theme motel”, tame and not as exciting – unless you take your kids there, I’m sure they will enjoy it.   We liked it the first time we went but there were many choices to choose from for room themes – some adult in nature – times change, businesses need to cater to a different audience.

Nothing like telling it as it is – “Love Catcher”

Here the older post link to the former glory of the “Red Rose”

Ciao

Sawadee Khrap

A man was in a coma. he had been in it for months. Nurses were in his room giving him a bed bath. One of them was washing his private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor whenever she touched him there.

They tried it again and sure enough, there was definite movement.

They went to his partner and explained what happened, telling him, ‘As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little ‘0ral sex’ will do  the trick & bring him out of the coma.’

The partner was skeptical, but they assured him that they would close the curtains for privacy.  The partner finally agreed and went into his spouse’s room. After a few minutes the guy’s monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate. The nurses run back into the room. ‘What happened!?’ they cried.

The partner said,  ‘I’m not sure; maybe he choked.

NEVER ASSUME THAT EVERYONE UNDERSTAND.

Ciao