Particularly during this last 3-4 weeks, since I found out about the current artery blockages, I need to thank God for showing me “A Course in Miracles”. As always, everything I need, I have, if I but look around and ask. I also realized, that in 1989, while driving my car in Pacifica, I must have had a minor heart attack. I remember having a extremely sharp chest pain – didn’t last long – but it was a very sever pain similar to what I have experienced lately and so strong that I have not forgotten it. I remember pulling over to the side of the road and waiting till I regained composure and brushed it off as bad indigestion. That was also during the time frame of the start of my sobriety and relationship with Christ.
Today I did a quick check of todays lesson (113) at “Pathways of Light” daily “ACIM” lessons web-page and just had to post part of it here – this is exactly how I feel. Many are walking this path with me and it’s nice to share our thoughts.
“I definitely can see that my life is more peaceful than it was before I began studying the Course. Every year has brought me to more consistent levels of deeper peace. Yet I still experience frustration, impatience, irritation and disappointment, which shows me that I am still valuing things of this world more than my unity with Love, my one Self. The fact that I do experience more consistent peace shows me that the practice is working. It’s worth continuing the practice.
Each time I remind myself that I am one Self united with my Creator and that salvation comes from my one Self, my identification with a separate self image loosens. My attention shifts more and more strongly to the one Self that I am in truth. I am grateful for these lessons that provide a structure to help me shift my identification from the false to the true, from the conflicted to the peaceful. “
The Saga goes on – this Friday I will speak to another Heart Surgeon in Chiang Mai, who I’m told can do the operation at a rate similar to that of BKK Chulalongkorn Hospital. If all is agreed I will probably go to Chiang Mai and have at least one stent put in. I feel more secure having it done in CM, I’m really starting to feel alone now in BKK & Pattaya since most of my friends here have moved away – I still have many friends in CM.
Soon I’ll post the whole story for anyone who’s thinking of coming to Thailand for medical reasons ( paying from their own pocket ), so they won’t get caught up in the “Medical Tourist” trap – great if you have it, but a nightmare if you are not insured – retired and over 70. Still I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.